Saturday, April 16, 2011

a strange sense of permanence

I built a fence. It's a modest size, about 60 feet or so. Its purpose, other than containing weeds so far, is to house a dog that I want to get. But this isn't really about the dog.

I've always wanted a dog since I was a little kid. For one, I'm severely allergic to cats even though I really like them. Dogs are goofy enough that we're kindred spirits, so it was always dogs. So what did I get growing up? Fish. Probably a good choice on the part of my parents.


Fast-forward about 30 years through elementary, intermediate, high school, college, work, college again, more work, California, and finally a legitimate higher education in Washington, and you find me here- working, loving, living. Now that I'm back home and settled in for what could technically be called a "career", the wanderlust that had fueled many sleepless nights seems to have abated as well. Of course, I still want to travel the world, but I'm not desperately searching for a place to call home.


Back to the fence. I tackled this project like I do all my projects: blind. Yet again I learned along the way, making the same mistakes I've had with other projects. "Sure, I can do this by myself." is a common problem that I have, but still find ways to actually manage. Could've done without the blisters though.


Anyway, the designated dog area is off a corner of our backyard where the outside laundry room is. Outside the laundry room is an older part of the house that was extended to build a shed, and the concrete slab is dated over 50 years ago. To put it in a little perspective, my dad was 15 when he helped pour that with my grandpa.


By the way, since we've mentioned concrete, do you know the difference between concrete and cement? Is there a difference at all? Yes, yes there is. Concrete is basically your hard finished product: sidewalks, buildings, tiles, etc. Cement is the ground powder that is used to make concrete. This fact will come in handy at least once in your life. If it doesn't, come find me and I'll buy you a beer.


So after I put my first fence post into the ground, I tagged the drying concrete with "2011" and stare. This post is only a few feet away from the slab that my grandpa and dad put in. I doubt that they could imagine what things would be like in that spot, over 50 years from that day. My dad would grow to become a man, a husband, a father. My grandpa would live long enough to see great-grandchildren, and pass away not far from the house he built. And now with another addition to the Tanaka House, the fence becomes a part of our history.


I can't imagine what life for me will be like 50 years from now. Children? Grandchildren? Life, even? I'll leave living, life, and death, and dying for another day. But I do know that I'm home, at least for now.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

fill 'er up

Good food, drink, and conversation always make for a good night. So what else does it take for a soul to be fulfilled? A lover? Sanctity? God? Dog? A 50 gallon salt water aquarium?

I've taken my chances with a lot of things, some too boring to list. Some, well, probably best to leave off the internet. And yet here I exist, fortunate enough to have lived another day (that turtle from Kung-Fu Panda is right, by the way. every day is a gift.) but still searching for more. Most every day I wake up happy to be fortunate enought to have all that I have. "Count your blessings..." Sorry, not enough time. Suffice to say I definitely have more physical STUFF than I need. But I am left wanting.

Is it more spiritual than physical? Possibly. Could even be lack of sex for all I know. But I am hard pressed to believe that I felt any better when I was going to church regularly. Of course, I've never had steady amounts of sex either, so who knows.

Unfortunately, dear reader, this is what happens when too much ideas strike at one time with no outline, no notes, and no posts in months. I've already deleted three paragraphs that failed to carry out a singular purpose. I still feel the need to write about things. Now it seems to be more about writing purposefully. Heck, even I would get tired of reading this ramble. I shall do better.

Or I won't; how about THAT? Ain't life grand? Celebrate the fact that you can make choices.