night surfing

I wonder what kind of tone this blog would have if I wrote during the day. I find myself terrifyingly withdrawn into a temperature-controlled, soft, dark cocoon whenever I feel like writing. All I can see beyond the keyboard is the glow of "78" from the air conditioner. I'm sure some vitamin D would change things up. For now, I'll sit in this dark arena with the monitor casting a double glare off my glasses. But on to the reason I'm here tonight.

After reading a few disturbingly real news articles, I got to thinking about Legacy again. I was obsessed with my legacy for a while. Honestly, I probably still am. What am I contributing to this world? What can I pass on that can be sustained? I don't have any kids (yet) obviously since that would probably nullify this whole rant. Kids are okay, but I don't have any right now. Moving on.

I'm starting to feel selfish about some of the things I've done to leave a legacy. Not that they weren't cool (trust, one in particular was way cool) but big whoop, I didn't change the world. What good did it do? Okay, before I get all down on myself I can honestly say that I've done things that help people become creative and inspired. Maybe... maybe I just want to do more of that kind of legacy work.

I love working with my hands. My hands are awesome. I have short fingers, but they do good work. No, for real, I have short fingers. Regular, guy-size hand, short lady fingers. Anyway, just thought I'd mention. It's not unreasonable to imagine that I can change people's lives with the work from my hands. Music, craft, writing, maybe not so much cooking. But what else? Never mind my hands. It's not about the hands.

What does it take to change lives for the better? Do we do it for ourselves, or do we do it for others? How much of a balance can there be between the two without feeling selfish? Oh, then there's altruism. Is there ever such a thing as a purely unselfish act? And then, of course, does it matter?


ps, just realize that there's a kind of counter on this thing for visitors.
hello, reader. pardon the lack of caps but I tend to type this way when I'm feeling a little more relaxed. but please note the proper capitalization of "I". it's a strange sensation to think of how far these words can go. with that, take heed, dear reader. help others when you can. if you can make a go of it, do it purposefully for as long as you are able. know that little things can change the world.